Friday

Communication between man and woman

It is a commonly held belief that men and women communicate differently. It is said women want their feelings validated, while we men just want answers. In this scenario, men have a problem with what is termed touchy-feely stuff, because they just want the bottom line, what’s important, and feelings aren’t.  I don’t believe that, not for a second. The main fault in this communication breakdown lies with men. Generally, women have always tried harder in this area.

When there is communication trouble between men and women, it is easy to simply toss it up to: “Women just don’t understand men, and men just don’t understand women.” It has been my observation that the real problem is with respect, not some made-up, so-called difference in communication styles of men and women. And in this matter, men don’t respect women -- not even their wives. So when their wives try to talk to them, most men --let me repeat, most men, which means not all men -- act a bit like the teenager when Mom or Dad start talking: “Great, here they go again!”

Men think the things women have to contend with are nothing compared with what they have to contend with. Consequently, they believe their wives can’t possibly understand them, and they therefore put little effort in trying to communicate with them. I will call this the "Archie Bunker" way of dealing with women. They believe their male counterparts understand, but that is because men give their friends the respect they won’t give their wives.

When a woman talks to her husband about some problem at her work, the most common answer he gives is: “Well just quit” -- or something like that. And when a wife gets bugged at such a response that, in effect, communicates, “I don’t care about your problems. I have real problems; don’t expect me to give you any more time than this flippant reply”, the man suddenly remembers, “Oh yeah, women just want their feelings validated, they aren’t looking for a solution.”

Men as well as women want to know that somebody understands what they are going through, and if the person you care about the most is not willing to give you the time of day when you need to vent... Oh, that’s right, that’s what men call it when they aren’t looking for a solution to something, they just need to talk to somebody about their frustrations -- or dare I say, their feelings.

Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. We both live on the planet Earth, and if men would give women the same sense of HUMAN respect that they give to other men, there would be very little problem communicating between the sexes.

I just needed to vent!
These are the feelings of the man in this family --

Noe