Perfectly Preposterous Pride and Prejudice

The continuing saga ...

Pride and Prejudice has had its share of ... shall I say, interesting ... though I would prefer to say, strange ... variations. Yes, it can be pointed out that Cindy and I put Mr. Darcy in outer space 500 years into the future in our eshort story, Mr Darcy and the Space-time Continuum. And for that reason, it shouldn't be too out of character for us to introduce a recurring blog post that will be titled, The Perfectly Preposterous Pride and Prejudice Variationor as some might prefer to refer to it, since so many people love to turn phrases into abbreviations, The PPPP.

Whatever you decide to call it, this will appear on our blog whenever I am feeling preposterous and choose to take certain scenes from Pride and Prejudice and make them perfectly preposterous. We hope you will enjoy our first post under that banner, as follows:

Kitty Coughs

    As Lizzy sat trimming a hat, her father addressed her, "I hope Mr. Bingley will like your hat, Lizzy."
    Her mother, not allowing Elizabeth to answer, pouted, "We are not in a way to know what Mr. Bingley likes, since we are not to visit him."
    Elizabeth made a reply having nothing to do with the hat: "But you forget, Mamma, that we shall meet him at the assemblies and that Mrs. Long has promised to introduce him."
    Her mother, with irritation building in her voice, complained, "I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thingshe has two nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her."
    "No more have I," said Mr. Bennet, "and I am glad to find that you do not depend on her serving you."
    Mrs. Bennet deigned not to make any reply, but unable to contain herself, began scolding one of her daughters, "Don't keep coughing so, Kitty, for Heaven's sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces."

P&P Animated (Graphic Canon Vol 2)
    "Mamma ...," cough, cough, and more coughs.

See link below
Correct actresses who played Kitty!
See note about this below.
    Mary left her chair to take Kitty some water. "Here, Kitty, drink some water. I have read that drinking water will help a persistent cough."
    After taking a few sips, her coughing fit seemed to end and she took a deep breath. "Ahhh, thank you, Mary!"
    "You're wel... " cough, cough, and more coughs.
    Elizabeth took the water from Kitty and gave it to Mary. "Let's try that again, Mary, for I'm sure your source of information is infallible."
    Mary dutifully accepted the water, and after a few sips, her coughs subsided. Thank you, Elizabeth, I am in your debt."
    "You're wel... " cough, cough, and more coughs.
    Jane took the water from Mary and gave it to Lizzy. "Oh dear, poor Lizzy, you must need some water as well." After a few sips, her coughing fit ended. "Thank you so much, Jane."
    "You're wel... " cough, cough, and more coughs.
    Lydia now took the glass of water from Lizzy and gave it to Jane, and after a few sips, the coughing stopped. "Oh, my ... thank you, Lydia," Jane said, patting her throat delicately.
    "You're wel... " cough, cough, and more coughs.
    Kitty took the water from Jane and gave it to Lydia. After a few sips, the cough stopped. "Lord, thank you, Kitty!"
    Smiling, her sister replied, "You're wel..." head shaking, "wel..." eyes blinking, "achoo!"

copyright © 2016 by NoeandCindy
Perfect Photo credits:
Pride and Prejudice Animated (Graphic Canon Vol. 2) by Huxley King and Terrence Boyce, YouTube presentation.
Flu Season, by "Jane Austen Runs My Life" blog
I must give a big thank you to +Julie Rak for catching that the meme about Kitty coughing is using the wrong actress! Hence, the correct photo post from Period Movies Box showing the two girls from 1995 and 2005 P&P. That was a perfectly preposterous unintentional mistake! (See Julie's note in the comments section below)

Want to read more "Perfectly Preposterous P&P" posts?
Here they are:
Number 2, Bingley visits Mr. Bennet
Number 3, Sisters will talk

Thank you for reading what noeandcindy.write !